I'm Back

Hello everyone,

I'm back. After 2 years of inactive, today a friend reminded me that i got blog. And i decide to write a blog post today.

Quite a lot of thing happened from my last blog post from 2 years ago. Study, career, friendship, attitude toward life, and etc

 Let's start with my study. I finally gradated and official a degree holder. 3 years with all the night classes and midnight oil for assignment and exam, i graduated with second lower class. I think for someone that are super lazy to study, this is quite an achievement.

As for my career, I changed 3 different companies and I get my license for my job. So now i'm a license Company Secretary. I used 5 years to achieve my 10 years goals. Is it too fast ? I dont know. I just know that people around me still struggling to for study and exam. I still thinking whether should i take up another professional paper or stay comfortable in where i am now.

For this few years, i also been travel around. I think I wanna go to as much places as I can before I die. I been to Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Thailand, Bali, Boracay, Ho Chi Minh City, Perth and Singapore. Mostly just Asia country but i believe maybe 2-3 years later i will be able to fly out from Asia and move to Europe or United States. Start to work hard and save money now.

Friendship - I get to know some new friends, lose some old friend. It's life i guess. People come and people go. No one  will really ever stay in your life forever, I am grateful for friends that still love me and i wish all the best for the friends that leave me.  I also learnt that you don't need to try so hard to fit into certain group of people, if you can fit in, then you would fit in, if you can't, no matter how hard you try, you still never belong to the group of people. What for to waste your time and energy with people that do not appreciate you and give up those who love you.

That's all for now. I think I will update this quite often from now on.

With Love
Ryan L

How We Survive

If we are fortunate,

we are given a warning.

If not,

there is only the sudden horror,

the wrench of being torn apart;

of being reminded

that nothing is permanent,

not even the ones we love,

the ones our lives revolve around.

Life is a fragile affair.

We are all dancing

on the edge of a precipice,

a dizzying cliff so high

we can't see the bottom.

One by one,

we lose those we love most

into the dark ravine.

So we must cherish them

without reservation.

Now.

Today.

This minute.

We will lose them

or they will lose us

someday.

This is certain.

There is no time for bickering.

And their loss

will leave a great pit in our hearts;

a pit we struggle to avoid

during the day

and fall into at night.

Some,

unable to accept this loss,

unable to determine

the worth of life without them,

jump into that black pit

spiritually or physically,

hoping to find them there.

And some survive

the shock,

the denial,

the horror,

the bargaining,

the barren, empty aching,

the unanswered prayers,

the sleepless nights

when their breath is crushed

under the weight of silence

and all that it means.

Somehow, some survive all that and,

like a flower opening after a storm,

they slowly begin to remember

the one they lost

in a different way...

The laughter,

the irrepressible spirit,

the generous heart,

the way their smile made them feel,

the encouragement they gave

even as their own dreams were dying.

And in time, they fill the pit

with other memories

the only memories that really matter.

We will still cry.

We will always cry.

But with loving reflection

more than hopeless longing.

And that is how we survive.

That is how the story should end.

That is how they would want it to 

Mark Rickerby, 2011

Lucky

Half of the 2013 just passed, and when I looked back, it surprised me because it was a not bad on. I went to Bangkok, Bali and Cherating. Total three Project Runaway for the first half of the year. But this post is not about travel. The best thing that happened for the first half of the 2013 is Lucky.

Yeah, let me introduce Lucky. A rescued dog. Actually  the story is like this, it was almost midnight and I am on the way back from my cousin wedding. Then pass by some housing area and out of sudden there are some thing ran into the road. I thought I hit it but luckily I was able to brake fast enough. I am think is cat but I was wrong. It was a puppy. A cute little puppy and I guess he was scared by me by sudden brake. So he just sat there and look helpless. I tried to look around for the puppy mother but it seem like he is alone at there. So that I just brought him home cos he seem like very hungry. But he was very calm when I tried to hug him and take him into the car. He just sit at there, look very blur and yet very cute.

Meet Lucky

He got the sad face all the time and he love people hugging him. Cute thing about him is when people hug him, he would fall asleep. 

Lucky and Me

Still thinking gonna keep him or not cos my place is not suitable for big size dog and I think Lucky gonna be a big size dog in the future but for now I will just take good care of him first. If anyone interested to adopt Lucky, can just give me a buzz. But he or she must be a dog lover and promise never do any harm to Lucky. Cos I already started to love this little puppy already. 

Love 

Ryan L

Age

Although I always say age is nothing but a boring number that trap people into a certain pattern, but actually recently I found out that age does matter in lot of thing. Recently I meet up with some of my old friends and we had a great gathering and conversation. As the time passed by, our topic of conversation had changed tramandously. We no longer start to talk about dream, we talk about reality, we no longer talk about what you did yesterday or the past but we talked about what we gonna do for tomorrow and future. The topic mostly about work, love, friendship and gossip a bit. Although seem like nothing has change, but everything had changed.

As the age increased, we become more mature and the way of thinking also changed. We no longer a kid anymore, we have to admit that we have to saying goodbye to our awesome teenage time and say hallo to the miserable adult time. I think that age is really important in this stage, and every decision we made during teenage time actually leave a big impact to our future life. For example, when u are deciding what course you gonna take during the college intake, it will affect your life. I experienced it now. Cos I noticed that my dream job require another field degree and I had choosen the harder way to join the dream job. But it is too late for me to take up another course to start all over again because I reached the age of working. And I need to start think more about my career more than my study. So it consider a hard time for me now. Therefore, think twice before make any decision that will significantly change your life

Besides that, when come to making friend, age do matter somtime. Some people would prefer get to know younger people, some people like to hangout with their same age group or some people like mature thinking friend. It is very subjective and vary from individual. I would say everyone will have bias toward certain age group and this is unavoidable. I think that is the reality of life.

For now I guess I just need work hard for my study, and hope my work will be smooth and people around me is safe and sound.

Ryan L  

Hazy KL

Hazy KL. That’s the hottest topic now. Yeah, with no surprise, the haze come back to visit KL and this time seem to be more serious than previous other year and friends around me are not feeling well due to the haze problem. I hope everyone do drink lot of water and take good care. Try to stay indoor and try not to go out too often. If really need to go out do get a mask.

Move to another topic, I noticed that recently I gained some weight. It must be I always skip gym due to class, work and the most obvious factor – laziness. I need to back to gym but sometime is just because of all those work and study thing make me feel very tired. Sometime I would just feel like go home to get a good sleep instead of go gym. I need to find my motivation and motivation is hard to find. Plus I do not control my diet and I just eat whatever I want to eat. I think is time to set a target for myself to look good at least for myself.

Next month gonna on a tight budget and I think that’s the chance I get to control my diet by bring home cooked food to office. Need to save up for next month. Hard life? yeah.  Regretted ? NO. Just hope that I can survive next month. 

Take care peeps. Drink more water and don't fall sick

Love ya

Ryan L 

Time Management

Always tell myself not to do last minutes work but procrastination is too powerful. And yesterday was the first time I unable to submit my work on time. Really freak out of me. I must learn from this lesson. Never do work last minutes and need to monitor the progress of my work. The lucky thing is lecturer promised to extend one more day for me and it was a simple assignment. so I managed to finish the writing on time but not the research part. Hope that I will get the approval letter soon from the management level.

Time management, really is very important to everyone. Nowadays everyone Is busy with lot of thing. For example, a working adult not only need to focus on the work, he/she need to spend time with family, friends, loved one, even some alone time. For me, sometime 24 hours is not enough, I need to work, I got class after work, then I need to spend some time for my friends on weekend, I need to spend time with Derek, I need to sleep early during weekdays. Actually I almost don’t have any “me” time recently. And I miss the “me” time. I think that it is important to spend time alone, maybe read a book at café alone, or go to gym and workout alone. I appreciate some alone time. It helped me to relax my mind and release my stress.

Sometime, I don’t think I’m stress, but from my action, I do know I just telling myself that I am not stress but actually I do feel stress and I don’t want to admit that. That’s just typical me huh? Don’t want to face the reality. Sometime is quite tired actually but I gonna just do my best for now.

Better time management next time. Someone please make sure i am not procrastinate. I need more hours in a day and better energy. Recently just too easy to get tired and need to rest early. 

Ryan L 

Luck

Sometime, I really believe in luck. I believe that I am always blessed with luck. As I am someone who do not belong to in any religion in this world, so I think is important to have some other faith which I had choosen luck. Besides myself, I believe in luck the most. Everyone got their good luck and bad luck moment. I don’t know how luck is working but I do think that I am born with good luck.

From primary school, I get to do what I want, join the school band, know some great friends and make my primary school life so meaningful and fun. Yeah, I love to go school during my primary school time, even on weekend just to get with my friends and practice. Best time of school life.

When come to secondary school to my college time, all the people I know is great people and great friends. I really enjoyed my time with them. And I am so lucky to be in the class where everyone is good to each other. During college time, I always see other class student just will do their own thing after class but our class is different. We will plan something or trip together. What a life, I miss my college time la. Can go anywhere anytime without worry deduction of salary or what.

Till now, I am still blessed with luck and get to know great people. Some people say thing that just to get me on bed, but some people I know they do mean it. I am lucky to join a group of great people. Still remember last time I always wanted to belong to a group of friends that understand and good to each other. And I’m glad that I found it. And I also have Derek, a great dog that make my life better although sometime he did pissed me off, but he still the best dog ever. You will never run out of topic if you have a dog.

I think get to know so many great people sometime not only depend on luck, I also need to work on my personality, my physical look, the way I interact with people, the way I speak and many other factors.

People nowadays are too shallow, there’s no longer inner beauty come first, everyone only focus on how do you look like, how much you earn, what car u drive. Bit tired to live in such society but that’s the way it is now.

Hope my luck will always with me and I do love my life now excepts for my job. I need to change job  laaaa. Need to work hard toward that target. 

Ryan L

Cherating with Derek

 Went Cherating with my Derek boy. He seem happy and Me also happy. I think we are same type, both of us love beach and sea. And he is more excited than me because his fur friends are all going like Sophie, Jack, Coby and Jamie. He such a happy boy. Love to see he run with freedom and swim inside the sea, make me feel happy

Definitely will visit again. Wait for us Cherating.

Regards,
Ryan L

June

I hope you treat me good. Ms. June

Before I Die

Before I die, I want to :

1. Bungee Jump
2. Experience Free Fall
3. Overcome my Aquaphobia
4. Get a pair of shoes from every big brand
5. Learn how to take good photo
6. see the northern light
7. Learn a new language
8. Write a book and get it printed for my own collection (Perhaps the story between derek and me)
9. Have a good body shape
10.  Learn to play a proper song for violin (which I already started to learn the basic)
11. Left a footstep at the seven wonder
12. Going to watch an Olympic game (Swimming perhaps)
13. Watch a concert (Ya, i still not yet been to a proper concert)
14. Fly First class and business class
15. See real snow and freeze till shaking .
16. Attend my best friend wedding and be a  groomsmen
17. Dream in English

That's all for now. Will continue to add in thing when I figure out new thing I want to do.

Cheer peeps.
Ryan L

It all about Love Song

So it is 520 and everyone is talking about love. So I would just post some love song that I love and I'm sure everyone know each of the song. Some are classic, some are new. some are unforgettable, some are heartbreaking. all of this are my favorite love song of all time

My heart stops when you look at me
Just one touch, now baby I believe
This is real, so take a chance
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

You gave me faith cos you believed 
Em everything I am
Because you loved me 

You'll always be a part of meI'm a part of you indefinitelyBoy don't you know you can't escape meOoh darling cause you'll always be my baby
Sometimes I run (sometimes)Sometimes I hide Sometimes I'm scared of you But all I really want is to hold you tight Treat you right, be with you day and night 
Baby it's you.You're the one I love.You're the one I need.You're the only one I see.Come on baby it's you.You're the one that gives your all.You're the one I can always call.When I need you make everything stop.Finally you put my love on top.

Not really sure how to feel about itSomething in the way you moveMakes me feel like I can't live without youIt takes me all the wayI want you to stay..! Stay...I want you to stay, oohh oohh

Boy, we're in a world war, 
Let's go all the way, 
Put your foot to the floor, 
Really walk away, 
Tell me that you need me more and more everyday, 
Never let me go, just stay. 

The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve 
Learning to Love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

So don't you worry your pretty little mindPeople throw rocks at things that shineAnd life makes love look hardThe stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with youThey try to pull me away but they don't know the truthMy heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing

Breathe, I know you find it hardBut, baby, breathe, you'll be next to meIt's all you need and I'll take you thereI'll take you higher, higher, higherAll the loversThat have gone beforeThey don't compareTo you
I am now in a world where IHave to hide my heart and what I believe inBut somehow I will show the worldWhat's inside my heart and be loved for who I am
Oooh, and love 
Oh, love 
I'll be that fool 
For you, 
I'm sure 
You know I don't mind 
Oh you know- 
I don't mind 

I have died everydaywaiting for youDarlin' don't be afraidI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more
Where there is desireThere is gonna be a flameWhere there is a flameSomeone's bound to get burnedBut just because it burnsDoesn't mean you're gonna dieYou gotta get up and try and try and tryYou gotta get up and try and try and tryYou gotta get up and try and try and try
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
When you're goneThe words I need to hear to always get me throughThe day and make it okI miss you
It's hard to feel the rush
To push the dangerous
I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you
Where we can both fall over in love
Never mind, I'll find someone like youI wish nothing but the best for you, tooDon't forget me, I begged, I remember you saidSometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts insteadSometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

If i missed out any song, just let me know :)

Ryan L

Bali & Mr. 4

Just feel like i should write a post for my Bali trip. It been awhile since I write about my travel story. Basically travel is a great thing, Bali is a great place with great beaches and sea, strong culture and friendly people. But i also paid the highest price among all my trip for Bali. I lost my phone at Bali. Yeah, my beloved phone. People who know me will know how much i love my phone. I do not blame the anyone for lost the phone, it just my own careless attitude. Although it do effect my mood for the rest of the day, but i try my best to hide it and not to effect others. But still, the disappointment can't be hided. It still shown on my face. I need to thank whoever I need for the sunny day for the next day. Because it been raining for two days when i was at Bali, but the day after i lost my phone, the day was sunny and the weather just great. I am grateful for the good weather because raining do really make someone feel emo.

 And i finally get to go beach. I just love beach and sea. Don't know why, each time when i see beach and sea, i feel calm and happy. Although i dont know how to swim, but i love to be inside the sea. it make me feel great and it is fun to see the waves hitting toward you. In Bali, the sea waves is quite big, guess thats the reason why all the surfer love to surf at Bali because of the waves. when u inside the sea, and sit at there, you  actually just like witness a small tsunami hit toward you. I'm not sure anyone do understand what i am talking about but i do love the feeling when the water hit on me. The feeling is great and i think i should learn swimming seriously and overcome my phobia toward deep water. 

Bali also one of the most beautiful island i ever visited. The scenery simply amazing and mind blowing. I would go back again for the beautiful people and place. It such a lovely place. Despite of all the bad thing, I still manage to enjoy my trip with the company of my friends. I enjoyed to travel with them. They make the whole trip so memorable and fun. 

Gonna post up the picture soon as my phone had lost, I dont have any picture for now. Gonna wait my friend to send it to me. 

I shall miss you Mr. 4. Hope you will find a better owner at Bali and I shall remember you always and you make my Bali trip unforgettable. For one last time, thank you for all the time you with me, and bringing me all the memory when you with me. Thank you Mr. 4. I love you.

Ryan L

Changes

Out of sudden, I noticed I changed so much, until I not even notice since when I don’t like thing that I used to like anymore. I always believe that only thing that last forever is diamond, other than that all thing will change including the most obvious one – people. I’m always ordinary. I live an ordinary life. When friends asked me a work to describe myself, the only word I could think of is normal. But actually I think ordinary or average would be a better for myself. Ever since when I was a kid, I not good in everything but I not bad also. I’m just average, teacher know about my existence but never put in extra attention. My result was just average, not good but not bad also. My personality is boring as I am a extremely shy and introvert person. The old friends are making fun of me now when we refresh our memory about the first meet-up. I not even dare to look into the eyes when talking. But guess that changed a lot. Now I have better social skill and thanks to all my friend, they make me feel like I actually is a good guy but I know I’m not. Thank you guys. For me , last time I don’t want to stand out, I don’t want to get known by people. I just want to be myself. But now I’m a totally different person. And I am not high profile. Thank you very much.

But recently, I noticed that’s some changes about all of this. I think average, ordinary and normal no longer is my word. I want something more, something above average, something extraordinary even something abnormal. But changes is not by a days or two. Deep in my heart, I wish to be someone great, a good son to my parents, a good company to my friend, a good lover to my beloved, a good master cum father to my doggie. But don’t know why, there’s always something missing. I don’t know what is it. But just something missing.  But I’m not complaining anything, my parents are in good health, I got a group of good friend that treasure me as their friend and I got a not so understanding but trying to be nice loved one and a super naughty yet super sweet doggie with me. Nothing to complaint. Life is complete so far.

However, life is not perfect, despite having all those wonderful thing in my thing, I still want more. I believe that I can go further for my study. I want to complete my study and continue to another level. And honest speaking I don’t like my job. I believe that one day I can get the job I like. Guess I just have to keep try and try. This remind me one of my favorite song recently – Try by Pink :-

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Very motivating and inspiring song.

Guess now just gonna wait time to pass and I actually finished this post in my workstation because I got nothing to do and I can’t read my Silver Linings Playbook. Totally in love with the book and I shall write a review about it when I finish it. (should be another 3 days more)

Ryan L 

Update

Yeah, I’m back again. After so long never update my blog, I think is time to revive it back. It been a interesting life so far ever since the last update. Job is a boring one, tendered my resignation letter but withdrawal back my letter due to too many trip in this year and I need money. I know, money can’t buy happiness but without money I’m surely not happy. In this stage, I would say, money still my main motivation to stay in this job. Although I know there would be better offer out there but I think I will stay back for the bonus on August and spend it for my Korea and Taiwan trip.

I’m quite excited for this year because I’m gonna turn to 23 and it is the best age ever in one man life. Reason? I just love the number 23. But I do think that in this age, I am doing not bad. Not to compare with anyone, I bought my own car, have a decent job. And most important is I get to go around without worrying anything. Plus, Derek is good and healthy. Family and friends are doing great also. Get to know lots of great people, some friend do found their significant others. Do feel happy for them.

I think I need some new direction for my blog and I still taking my time to think what should I blog and how should I blog. So I will just take my time to think and meanwhile this just a short update and I shall back for more update. 

Regards,

Ryan L

One day

I always believe there’s a moment in life, where we worked for so hard every day, and finally we get tired and we will start to wonder why I am doing this. I think this is an important stage of life. Where we really tired of everything and everyone, some people choose the hang on there, some people choose to leave, some people just pretend nothing is happened, pick up the exhausted heart and mind and continue to do what they should do. I think I would choose the second opinion which is runaway from everything. Perhaps I will disappear 3 to 6 months. And no one will even notice that I not around anymore.

I would travel around and see thing and people. Meet different kind of people, learn different kind of language. People should do that. We can commit ourself into workplace maybe for few years, but not forever.

Just give me some time, I will do it one day. Yeah, one day

Ryan L
The Little Lion

October

October, my favorite month.

The weather are just nice, 

the wind is just fine,

People look more petty and handsome,

Doggie look more cute,

Food taste better,

Working seem like not so boring,

Assignment feel like very easy,

It make me feel like miracle can be happened anytime

I do not make a wish, I just hope it will be a good month. 

October simply feel good.

Hopefully it really will be a good month 

Cheer 

Ryan L

The Little Lion

Jom Botak

Jom Botak is a campaign by MAKNA to create awareness of cancer and what are the feeling of the cancer patient bald for undergo chemotherapy.

please visit : http://jombotak.makna.my/ for more info.

 Before and After 

Happy Derek and Botak me 

Although is not something big, but i do hope people will care more about the cancer patient and understand what they are going though. 

The Little Lion

Ryan L

Hello & Goodbye

Life is a series of hellos and goodbye. People come and people go. Some people stay, some people left, some people come and stay for a short period but yet it is the most amazing moments. The important is not the time frame, but is the moment shared together. 

Some people hurt you, some people love you, some people make you laugh, some people make you sad, the important not what they did, it is the emotion and memory they gave it you. Quote from my friend MK: Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

In the end, you will be thankful to everyone that ever appear in your life. Because of them, it shaped what you are today. Life is about people you meet and the things you create with them. Be nice and a smile won’t harm you or anyone. 

You can feel sad, but don’t sad for too long. You deserve to be happy. You can cry out, but remember to be strong after the tearsdrop, make it every drop worth. Promise to take good care yourself, never let anyone take control of your life.                      

Say hello to the new friend and welcome them warmly, say goodbye to old friend or the people who want to leave and wish them all the best. A hug better than any word to express the feeling. Hug is free, so do not hesitate to give it to people who need it.

  You Bite Me, I Bite You, That's called Love Bite

Ryan L

The Little Lion

Second Half

First half of the year is gone. Do you resolve any resolution that you set on the beginning of the year?

My first half of 2012 was great for me. I get to know some great people, started my degree, working life is stress but still manageable, went to Bangkok, and now starting to plan to get a car for myself. Always wanted to get myself a car but still taking myself some time to consider that am I able to commit myself into such big commitment in such age and such pay? I guess I still need some time to think about it.

Life should not be so easy, that’s what I am telling myself so easy. We tend to be lazy if life gets easy. I think the second half of the year gonna be very busy as assignment and workload getting more and more. No complaint but just hope to get a short break for myself.

Let’s hope better for the rest of the year 2012.

And finally talked to the Famous Calvin. Good start of the second half year i guess 

Ryan L

The Little Lion

Unpredictable

Life is a series of unpredictable event that happen together to make us have all kind of feeling. Today morning I was thinking about someone and someone messaged me. Oh gosh, it has been almost one year since the last time I get in touch with him. It was a pleasant surprise to me and it makes my day. It also show that people do remember me.

I met some great people. Some are just hi and bye. Some become friend and some even not remember who I am. But I always consider myself as a very lucky person for get to have such great friends in my life. Although I not those super good looking guy, but I take myself as the normal boy with average look. I like the way i look (okay, not my ears), already accepted the fact that I only can be 165. Met people who have same height as me but still can be great, so it no longer about the height. I love my small eyes.

I don’t mind people don’t know me. Just want to keep myself as low as I can. No need to know everyone, know a few that are good to you and you feel comfortable with them is good enough.

And once again, I proved myself is not bad in presenting. Compliment from the lecturer saying that I’m the best presenter of the class because I memorize the fact, I do not read from the slide, and I explained everything clearly and example provided. But because of this presentation no mark is given, actually I just simply do. I not even practice for it. And I did last minutes preparation by thinking what to say and the example during others presentation. But I still feel happy for that. The only reason I write this in my blog is because this is the only place I can show off as not many people will read it and I don’t plan to tell everyone that. But it just the feeling want writing it out, if not facebook, not twitter then just left my blog. Gonna do some preparation for the next presentation as it is part of the assignment. Not every time is so lucky for me.

Life is unpredictable. Just take everyday like your last day you gonna live in this world. Do the thing you like and want. That’s all I want to say. 

Dear Calvin : R.I.P Poco :(  Just be strong. hugs

Ryan L

The Little Lion