Changes

Out of sudden, I noticed I changed so much, until I not even notice since when I don’t like thing that I used to like anymore. I always believe that only thing that last forever is diamond, other than that all thing will change including the most obvious one – people. I’m always ordinary. I live an ordinary life. When friends asked me a work to describe myself, the only word I could think of is normal. But actually I think ordinary or average would be a better for myself. Ever since when I was a kid, I not good in everything but I not bad also. I’m just average, teacher know about my existence but never put in extra attention. My result was just average, not good but not bad also. My personality is boring as I am a extremely shy and introvert person. The old friends are making fun of me now when we refresh our memory about the first meet-up. I not even dare to look into the eyes when talking. But guess that changed a lot. Now I have better social skill and thanks to all my friend, they make me feel like I actually is a good guy but I know I’m not. Thank you guys. For me , last time I don’t want to stand out, I don’t want to get known by people. I just want to be myself. But now I’m a totally different person. And I am not high profile. Thank you very much.

But recently, I noticed that’s some changes about all of this. I think average, ordinary and normal no longer is my word. I want something more, something above average, something extraordinary even something abnormal. But changes is not by a days or two. Deep in my heart, I wish to be someone great, a good son to my parents, a good company to my friend, a good lover to my beloved, a good master cum father to my doggie. But don’t know why, there’s always something missing. I don’t know what is it. But just something missing.  But I’m not complaining anything, my parents are in good health, I got a group of good friend that treasure me as their friend and I got a not so understanding but trying to be nice loved one and a super naughty yet super sweet doggie with me. Nothing to complaint. Life is complete so far.

However, life is not perfect, despite having all those wonderful thing in my thing, I still want more. I believe that I can go further for my study. I want to complete my study and continue to another level. And honest speaking I don’t like my job. I believe that one day I can get the job I like. Guess I just have to keep try and try. This remind me one of my favorite song recently – Try by Pink :-

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Very motivating and inspiring song.

Guess now just gonna wait time to pass and I actually finished this post in my workstation because I got nothing to do and I can’t read my Silver Linings Playbook. Totally in love with the book and I shall write a review about it when I finish it. (should be another 3 days more)

Ryan L