Tech support - supposedly all true!!!

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Tech support:    What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...


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Customer:     Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer:     Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer:     No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it
             yet... it's still on my desk...  sorry....


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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of
             the screen.
Customer:     Your left or my left?


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Tech support:   Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:  Hello... I can't print.
Tech support:   Would you click on  "start" for me and...
Customer:       Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm
               not Bill Gates.


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Customer:   Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
           Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted
           the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the
           computer still says he can't find it...


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Customer:     I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer:     Aaaah....................thank you.


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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:     A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.


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Customer:     My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:     No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:     OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:     Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
             another keyboard?
Customer:     Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple,
             a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer:     Is that 7 in capital letters?


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Customer:     I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:     Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:     Five stars.


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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:     Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:     Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


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Customer:     I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen
             saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it
             disappears.


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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer:     I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:     Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do
             I get the circle around it?


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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with
her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer:    "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
             point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
             window, and his printer is working fine."


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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
              at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
              screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer:      I don't have a P.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:      What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:      I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!