Wow, really long time never post a blog entry by writing something. I think it is because i am too busy lazy to do it. Because of everyday need to do so many thing. No really complaining here because i do know it just all i asked for, so i can't blame others for it. Let me start with my daily life. I wake up and go to school. I love school but in the same time i hate school. Because school is one of the stage of our life. We can't skip it so we have to love it. Make it as a part of our sweet memory better than make is as a suffering memory. I love sweet more than bitter. Perhaps I not that kind of person that like to work so hard to get something. I always like that. Hopeless. I know i am. Don't ever want to fight me about it. I know myself the best. ( Learned from Kenny) hehe..if he see this, he sure kill me for copy his words.

Then, i also working now. Actually i am very tired of working. Sometime was thinking what do i want to work. Then, OH YA..because of money. I wan MONEY. I need MONEY. So, working is the legal way to earn money. For sure, if i want to get many, i got not only working to get it, there are always ILLEGAL way to do it, it just depend do we want to do it or not. Then, actually i just tired of just working. now just feel like want to relax and enjoy my life. Too young to say that right? I do know that. but i got the old folk mind now. And wondering when is my retired day is coming......but before that, i want to work till i will vomit when i heard the word WORKING.

Then, go back to my study. My finals exam is SUCK. I fail 3 subjects out of 5. It mean i am STUPID. I never deny i am stupid but it just once again proven by scientific way - exam result. but i not really feel sad about it. Because i can't do anything to change the result anymore, now what can i do is just want study harder and make a better result next year and hopefully i can get some tuition next time. I no mood in tuition. It make me sound like i am stupid so i go to tuition. Because what i can say is i hate tuition and it make me look stupid if i go tuition. I do not mean those people who go for tuition is stupid, is just me, RYAN if go tuition, it mean he is stupid. it is a RYAN's statement, please do not feel offended.

Then, i want to go back to work again. Sometime working do bring me alot of fun. meeting different person with different character is challenging. We don't know what kind of person we meeting everyday. We need to use different attitude to handle them. Working, is just one of the way for u to not to depend your parents too much. You learn how to face the problem all by yourself and i think if you can work, you already able to survive.

Tired, is the word I using now for everyday. i don't know la. I eat my dinner at 1 am and now 2.30am and I am blogging. What life do i having here? HAhaha..Just want to laugh it out loud.
Going to do more post.

Tired and Tired
Ryan L

My Sexy 18

My sexy 18 is FABULOUS. I love it. Although this year not really celebrate with big big. But still i going to remember my 18 years old birthday for a long time. Thank you guys for making my birthday so nice. Actually i do got a thank you list to make.

First of all, I want to thanks myself for reached 18 years old at all. Get ATM card now. 21st i want to get my credits card. Hehehe.....

Next up, i would like to thanks Justin for the first present i get for my birthday. I love it. It was a teddy bear. I named it Little Justin or Little Jus. Love it so much. Thank you Justin.

Then, my second present is from Su Faye. The card was so nice. I am so touched with the writing. The card are so nice and it do got a picture of us taken at Genting's cable car. Wow, never thought she print it out. Thank you Su Faye. Love it so much.

Nevertheless, all KJ friends. Thank you for the USB thingy. Love it.Although still no idea how to use it yet...

Then, thank you Candy for the card and the member card...hehee..not to forget my TS friends for the cake. I LOVE the cake. it taste so good.

How do i celebrate my birthady:

First round: Dinner with Kelvin. I had a great dinner with Kelvin but something happen in between the dinner.

Second round: Lunch with Joshua at mid valley's Pizza Hut. Thank you for the lunch.

Third round: My birthday dinner at Pavilion"s Wong Kok. Although most of the people just suddenly say don't want to come even is already promise but still got at least some the friends that are really care about me came. I am touched and thank you guys. YOu all making my birthday great. I also got received some SMS to apologize and Hui Xian even call to wish me birthday and say sorry. Actually i also touched by that.

Then, thank you for the wishes that you all given me. In this blog, i can see Taira,Ryan, Pam, Michelle. If i missed out anyone, just say it. then cheryl, dont be sorry for can't go for the dinner, i do understand.
Facebook got many but wished me lot of time is Woof wong. Thank you so much. YOu such a nice guy.
Friendster also got alot...then sms also get lot. Even i also get two call to wish me happy birthday.
Love you guys.

The white cake actually is the next table given to me cos he also celebrating his birthday. We exchanged our cake....Damn happy with it...

Some picture of that day:
(if you want to see more, please visit my friendster or facebook)





HAppy SEXY 18
Ryan L

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday!!

25th Of October

My birthday dinner:

Place : Pavilion's Wong kok
Time: 7 pm start
Activity : Not really know........
Contact : 0169494021
Dress code : For girl -> Shorter and Lower, Make it hot girl
For Guy -> Simply hot and sexy....wear your best shirt...

Please do let me know if you going..
thank you

*If you do got camera, please do bring it along with you.....Cos i don't have camera*

Exam...

Exam ia coming soon, so i not going to online for the next week, perhaps just checking my mail only if i do online, need to study hard for all subject. Cause i just don't know what to do. I like not even know what am i doing now. Hopefully just pass all subject for this time *praying hard*....

I hope my math and chemistry can at least get a pass grade. And other just hope not too bad. so i going to miss my blog so much and going to update about my birthday dinner at next friday. I going to post the time, place at herel. The date surely will be 25th of october. Just hope everything will be fine soon...

Exam fever,
Ryan L

Sadness October

This October seem to be very sad for me. Too much of tears, too much of pressure, too much of stress...Lately post also seem to be like sad. But I going to post something that really make me happy soon. I think i will post it around end of this week cos still got something not done yet. Exam coming soon but i not yet study at all. But who cares, i just no more energy to care about it anymore. Just too much sadness. Hopefully will got something good happen soon...

I Thought I was...

I thought i was strong enough to accept anything thing but it seem to be not like that. Lately i keep on tearing. For certain reason, i think i become more sensitive. More easy to get touched. Life ain't easy for me, but i still not feel any sad about it. Relationship do not work for me i also not really mind. Although do feel sad about it but i still can take it.

Just now, my tear drop down again. This time is for Keith's Grandpa. His grandpa had passed away today. When heard that, my tear just drop out like that only. I just can't stop it. Keith actually is my facebook friend only. We do not know each other for so long but we do can talk. I enjoyed talking to him. He is a nice guy. I think around last week his grandpa went into hospital and it is not really doing well for his grandpa. I can feel that he is really worry about his grandpa. He do got tell me about his relationship of him and his grandpa. I can feel it like his grandpa loved him so much, and he also loved his grandpa so much. His grandpa taking care of him when he small. That time he was damn worry about his grandpa. What i can do i just pray for his grandpa to be fine.

Until just now, i asked Woof, also my facebook friend about how he doing, i only found out that his grandpa had passed away, my tear just brust out like...Can't even stop it. I think it is because i know how much keith love his grandpa, how was the feeling of losing someone we love or love us. I do experience that before, so i know the feeling.

Even i not knowing keith in real person but i already take him as my friend and i do hope he will be fine and be strong. May his grandpa will rest in peace. God bless...

I thought i was strong enough to take any death but seem to be not now. I even cried when my hamster was died because of too old. That time i cried for 4 hours. Non-stop. I am the one who not really easy to pop out my tears just like that. I can accept separation of friends but not death.
Now i know what do i can't accept in my life.

Lastly, i hope keith will be doing fine and be strong. And i shall stop my tears now( still crying when i type till here). But i do can't stop it. Hopefully later will...
What i want to say is just appreciate the one you love and the one who love you. No one will know what will happen tomorrow.

Holding yesterday for remember yesterday. the memories that wehad , Living today for you must live at today, NOT yesterday, NOT tomorrow but is TODAY! Do not do something that you will be regret. Expecting tomorrow for always hoped that tomorrow will be better than today and we will always got tomorrow.

Holding yesterday, Living today, Expecting tomorrow
Ryan L

Happy Birthday to Myself 1

Today is my birthday, even I also don't know about that. Cos i not really want to remember my lunar birthday. For me, 23th of october is just enough for me so i do not celebrate it too late. Plus now only i know is my birthday today. Now already 11.25pm. Few more minutes the day will be finish. So, just want to write something here to wish my birthday happy birthday. Although i do not celebrate it, but i still on born on today.

My lunar birthday is kinda simple only. My mummy sure want me to eat two boiled eggs. Every year also the same, so today i ate two eggs. Although not really love to eat it but still is a must to eat it. If today is my lunar birthday, then yesterday is pat lin's lunar birthday. I also want to wish him happy lunar birthday. Wish him always happy and this year we going to celebrate our birthday again. Pat lin, my BEST BEST friend in secondary. Without him, my life will be so bored and i will be died now. Plus our birthday is just one day different. So it just make us better friend.

I going to love myself more from now....You also can love me more too...

Happy Lunar Birthday~~
Ryan L

Child like or Childish?

Child like and childish, what is the different about that? I don't know, for me it is almost the same because i just too "child like" or childish too differentiate it. Sometime, i just hope i can forever be a boy, so that i no need to think so much in my life. Certain thing is just like too complicated for me even I am turning 18 in 20 days more. It not like i not able to know it, but i just don't want to know it. For me, i am the blur king but it does not mean i am really in blur, it just certain i don't want to get involved for some reason. It just like when two of my best friends is in arguing. I will just act blur and act like i don't know anything at all but in fact both of them do tell me what is going on between them. What can I do? Both also my best friend and i do care about both of them. I just can't help one of them and hurt one of them. So i do need to act blur and don't know anything but do help them to solve it. I do know you sure saying i am chicken and just no friend enough. But what can i do? Join the the fight and get what in the end? it just scar and pain in left, tear and sorrow in there. I don't want that to happen in my life. My life already pathetic enough, that do will make it more pathetic if i do that.

Some people do say i got the child look. It mean i am damn kid. I look like a can't grow kid all the time. People thought i am still 15 years old while i am 18 years old now. How pathetic is that.... I am short but who to blame? Blame the tall gene that not in my DNA? I do not mind i am short because i born with it but i am small is like what? It just like i forever ever just can reach 50kg even how much i eat. Just see how pathetic am i! other people want to lose weight but i want to gain weight but can't gain it.

Lately just feel tired, not in physical but in my mind. Somehow everything just too much to put it in my mind. I need to empty up my mind now. Everything seem to be so messy now. I need to get over from many thing and need to be clearly thinking now. I just don't want my life to be messed up again and agian, until i just forgot who am i and just die beside unknown bedsides. It just like i need someone to wake me up from the dream i having it with you now. But i not willing to wake up and back into the real world. Cause it is just like damn hurt.

I just want to be a boy now. Not a man. I want to be childish and silly. I don't want to act like i know everything and i must take care of everything, For once, i hope that got someone take care of me, asking me do i eat my lunch or dinner, how do i feel today. how was my day, give some nagging to me. All of that i been doing it all the time, for somehow, i just hope got someone who do back the same thing to me. Asking me this and that. Asking me how i doing, asking me am i happy.......All of this is just too much for me? Am i asking too much? I do think i am asking too much now. I just do not deserve for people to treat me like this i guess. I am too bad for someone to care about. I am a terrible person that only hated by people with no reason. As my friend always said - is your face problem. You just look damn terrible.. Naive and innocent? Can it use it on me? Can, wait for other 10000000000000000 thousand years. So, the conclusion is Ryan is a terrible person and he do not deserve people to care about him. NO OBJECTION PLEASE!! I know ME the best. But i still going to care about my friend like Kelvin, Kenny and other..

No matter i am child like or childish, i am still Ryan that are always hated by people but in the same time he don't mind that hated by people and still will take them as his friend. I am very easy to take over something, so do not worry that i will be sad for so long.

Chlid like or Childish?
Ryan L

Outting With Candy and Boon

Today is tuesday and I got Off day today..Yeah..After one long week working and without resting, today is my resting day. But i do not rest at but i went out with candy and boon to sungai wang.

Today woke up at around 9 and get ready for the outing. Early in the morning boon called me and ask me what is the time..I thought already told me but he still keep saying 11am. but i did told him is 12pm. Haha..Luckily he called me or not he need to wait there alone. Then, candy at her home town will straight away come to KL central by KTM. I also taking KTM to KL Central and Boon taking LRT to KL Central but we three are like totally different direction going to there,i from seri setia, candy from nilai and boon is taman melati. Three different place going to KL Central together. I go out from house around 11.30am. I thought i will be late but it do not seem to like that. While waiting for the KTM, candy smsed me and said she will be late for around 1 hours. Then, when i reach there, that boon also not yet there and also late for 20 minutes. Then we two just waited candy at there by walking around and had some chat with him. We two like long time never talk already since i stop working. So we just chit-chat till candy arrived.

After that, we go to sungai wang and first of all we find something to eat first.we eat at the enquried kitchen that the food are not really nice..Oily,small, And we waited forever for it, taste not really nice plus service not really good. I don't think i will go there again. Black listed that one. HEHE... After eating, we just went to green box for ktv session. The room we booked is 4 pm but we reached there about 3 pm so we decided to go take picture at the japaness photo machines. Chinese is called da tou tie. Hehe..Going to show it later on when candy post it cos i dont have scaner...Sad... I love it so much , this is my first time o..Love the picture so much.

After 4 Hours of singing, screaming, rocking at the ktv room, we walked out of the room and walked to Pavilion and take a look at Pavilion's Wong Kok that going to have my birthday dinner there..it is kinda nice place . and we order some drink and have a short chat at there. Enjoy the night view of KL and just relax at there.

After that, home lo....